| Inside Mensline |
 |
 |
| Tuesday, 09 September 2008 00:00 |
|
Meera Atkinson
Mensline Australia is a 24/7 confidential and anonymous not for profit telephone helpline. Having run for 50 years, it was one of the first telephone services of its kind in the world. Perhaps more than any other service Mensline has the lowdown on exactly what’s bothering Australian men.
Originally a volunteer counselling service established by psychiatrist Dr Cunningham Dax, Mensline recently evolved into a professional counselling service. However, while the counsellors are now paid, the men who access the service do so for the cost of a local phone call. Dr Nick Foster works in the marketing department of Mensline after previously working as a counsellor. He says the majority of calls are about relationship problems; problems which all too often lead to issues such as domestic violence, substance abuse and depression. Nick says, “41% of calls coming in are about a separated partner, 35% are about a current partner, so it’s normally about intimate relationships”. “A lot of men call about lack of access to their children. A huge number of men call about how the family law system works. We know that separation is a high risk time for men; they are nine times more likely to take their life in the twelve month window around separation.” Mensline receives some 67,000 calls a year, which suggests the belief that men don’t seek help is a myth. What about the one about men not having or expressing feelings? “Anecdotally we do talk about the fact that men’s vocabulary around emotions may not be as robust as women’s but what I’ve always been amazed about is the capacity of men to open up on the phone and to be direct and straightforward about receiving feedback or challenging questions,” says Nick. “They do a lot of thinking about the quality of their relationships, the impact of their conflicts, and the way they’re fathering. Men think about these things on a constant basis. It impacts their work, the way in which they socialise. The way they’re processing just isn’t done that verbally. “There is still stigma attached to sharing with other people but the voluble relief men have when they first start to talk about these things is stunning. There are occasions when someone will discover and disclose issues around sexual abuse or a history of violence in the family situation that they’ve lived with and never talked about.” Nick says there appears to be generational differences in the way men express their emotions; younger men are more articulate about their feelings. Mensline caller demographics peak between the ages of 25-54 after which it tails off dramatically. Older men are simply less willing to call. “If you look at the suicide statistics, and where they peak, one is around 15-35 year olds and the other one is the 65-85 year olds. At the moment they’re doing it tough and alone,” says Nick. The Mensline organisation has no religious affiliations. However, that doesn’t mean there isn’t a spiritual element to the work. “What’s good about counselling is you can tackle some of the existential issues. We have to be very respectful of everyone and their belief systems and the way they put together their life understanding, but we talk about beliefs and with quite a lot of people faith as well.” In addition to one-off call counselling Mensline also provides a call-back service where the same counsellor follows up five or six times to ensure that adequate support and services are established. In addition to the many resources offered on the Mensline Australia website there are young men’s, Indigenous, Arabic, and Vietnamese subsites. Nick says if he had one wish for Australian men it would be that they don’t wait so long before reaching out. “Men frequently wait for the crisis to happen before they do much about it so my eternal cry is the sooner you tackle the issue the sooner you’ll sort it out. If you wait for the car to crash it’s going to hurt.”
Unpack the issues...
Set as favorite
Bookmark
Email This
Trackback(0)
Comments (0)
 Write comment
|
TrackBack URI for this entry
Subscribe to this comment's feed
Show/Hide comment form
