Susan Best

They say youth is wasted on the young. At the ripe old age of 45 I think what they mean by that is that most young people have much to take for granted. They have not yet suffered the host of impositions, limitations, and unwelcome changes that befall those who manage to stay alive for some decades.

 And youth is a time of risk taking when one is likely to throw caution to the wind, consequences be damned.

Unpack the issues...

• Discussion points
• Further reading

Of course there are responsible, prudent young people who do good, count their blessings and refuse to abuse their bodies with fast food, fast pace, alcohol, cigarettes — and who otherwise decline to tempt fate. I was not one of those young people.

I, like many in the bloom of youth, thought I had forever on this earth. Somehow I imagined, if I thought about it at all, that only others aged and only others died.

So, what does youth have to look forward to? What do I now look back on and wish I had appreciated more?

Let’s start with skin. Like many young people I had some acne during the teenage years, which I hated with a passion. After that settled I continued to get the odd spot every now and then and I leaked precious life energy by railing against each and every one. Ah for the days of the odd pimple on otherwise fresh and firm skin.

The struggle to accept the changes I see taking place on my face has begun. The texture of skin has altered: I now have a more course, ruddy complexion. Wrinkles have appeared. Stress and tiredness are announced not just in dark circles but in middle aged style dark circles: deep, dark markers of the many days passed trying to make peace with life on life’s terms, the unavoidable reality that confronts those youthful plans and dreams of grandeur.

Certain bodily sensitivities have come into play. Where I once thought my mother a malingerer for bleating on about her bad back, I now find myself forming a close relationship with my osteopath. I’m also experiencing random aches and pains in parts of my body I never knew existed.

My body speaks its growing fragility in other ways. Where once I thought of myself as having an iron-cast stomach that could take any manner of assault (bring on the chilli and Spumante!) I now find myself with a tricky and sometimes troubled digestive system that demands care, attention and tedious gastronomical restraint.

And don’t get me started on eyesight. Having had perfect vision all my life it seemed that the minute I turned 40 I found myself squinting at the computer screen, words a distant blur. The optometrist kindly explained that this happens to almost everyone over 40, sooner or later and to varying degrees.

It’s not such a drama since reading glasses solve the problem but I could live without those humiliating moments when, caught in a supermarket isle without my specs handy, I am forced to stop a young person and ask them to read out the list of ingredients.

If you’re young, take a moment to consider what you might remember with wistful fondness in years to come, say a prayer of thanks for it, and do your best to enjoy yourself fully in your youthful glory, challenging the critical, perfectionist voices in your head when they whisper.

So, would I have my youth back if I could? Not on your life. There are many wise, responsible, spiritually aware young people in the world but like I said I wasn’t one of them. I wouldn’t trade the inner life I have now with the inner life of myself at 25 for all the beautiful skin, 20/20 vision, and hardy tummies in the world.

Unpack the issues...

Discussion points

• Do you think age necessarily brings wisdom?
• What are you looking forward to in ageing?

Further Reading

• Transcript for Catalyst- 'The new science of wisdom'

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