| Reconciliation of a nation |
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| Tuesday, 20 May 2008 00:00 |
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Meera Atkinson
Unpack the issues...
For the decade before the end of Apartheid in 1994, South African Tim Ledgerwood fought against the racial segregation dominating that country, for which he suffered unspeakable consequences. But although he went through times of anger with God, he never stopped being driven by his Christian faith. As a young candidate minister in the South African Presbyterian Church, Tim was required to complete military service before undertaking a Bachelor of Theology degree. In a the midst of a culture and ideology he found shocking Tim faced an “existential moment of truth” and chose to reject the Apartheid system dominating the country. It was a matter of spiritual certainty, a calling, and it led him to flee from “soul-destroying” military life to the African National Congress in Botswana. On route Tim was caught crossing the border by the South African police, was detained and tortured, an experience he would rather not talk about except to say that he continues to pay the price. “Torture is not an event [for a victim], torture is the start of a process of trying to deal with it, a process that will only end on the day of our full and final healing as human beings.” However, he has never regretted his actions and says that, if faced with the same choice now, even knowing what the cost would be, he would do the same again. “This is not brave,” he maintains. “In terms of my Christian belief, we are all called to be priests, prophets and pilgrims and this is part and parcel of that experience. It is something we may all be called upon to do.” Even when the cost was highest he felt not only comforted but led by his faith. “At the time I had a deep sense of the presence of the Divine. I felt that I was joined with the Eucharistic sacrifice, not for the salvation of the world, but for its healing. It was almost as if the Divine said to me, ‘I have something very difficult for you to do. Will you do it?’” His decision continued to carry consequences during the 1980s. Tim was viewed as a terrorist by some; the Security Police monitored him for several years and enlisted his boss to submit reports. Tim describes Nelson Mandela’s release from jail and subsequent Presidency as “the dawn”. “I remember voting in 1994. There was a sense of freedom, a sense of joy, a sense of us all being in this together — black, white, men, women, rich, poor. It was the making-real of God’s Kingdom on earth, it was what we had suffered for, a step towards our salvation.” At the time of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission (where victims of violence could be heard), a year after the democratic elections, Tim contributed his story, Letter from Tim, to a book of personal accounts called Country of my Skull: Guilt, Sorrow and the Limits of Forgiveness in the new South Africa by Antjie Krog, a journalist who covered the Commission. “Reconciliation is difficult and requires sacrifice,” he says. “It is critically important for life in general, as well as in Christianity. Reconciliation means being like Christ. Reaching out to those who have hurt you or (perhaps even more difficult) reaching out to those you have hurt. Reconciliation is a process, not an event.” While driven by his Christian faith Tim’s experiences have also altered it including a denominational change from his “typical middle class congregation with little desire to challenge the existing order” to the Roman Catholic Church whose understanding of sacrament appealed to him. “For a long time, I was angry with God. I would swear and shout and rant and rave at the Divine. Slowly, I began to understand this in a very different way. In some way, we are joined through our suffering to Christ on the Cross, to the Eucharist, in some way our hurt and pain serves for the healing of the Oikos — the Household of the Divine. It is a mystery. But it is a very very deep mystery.” Tim does not consider himself a hero. “What happened to me happened to thousands of South Africans. This is a common story, not an exception. Reconciliation in South Africa is a result of everyone’s work, not the work of a few individuals.” Unpack the issues...
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For the decade before the end of Apartheid in 1994, South African Tim Ledgerwood fought against the racial segregation dominating the country, for which he suffered unspeakable consequences. But, he says, “Reconciliation is difficult, and requires sacrifice”.
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