| The joy of sex |
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| Tuesday, 17 June 2008 00:00 |
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Bill Loader
Unpack the issues...
For some people there’s nothing more to it. Sex is for making babies. After all, the Bible has just described the making of animals, birds, and bees. In the ancient world where people had very inadequate contraception, if any at all, having sex inevitably meant having babies. This gave rise to two quite different attitudes. Some said: only do it when you are serious about that; don’t do it for fun! Others said: how wonderful that such pleasure leads to new creation! There is more, however, in chapter two. Hidden behind a quaint tale of God making a mud male model, breathing on it, and then extracting a bone to make its mate, is another story about sex. It is about companionship. Finding that animals were not up to being ideal companions, God makes a woman out of a man and the one becomes two. The man and the woman are then brought to each other and become one again, this time through sexual intercourse. The focus here is not reproducing the species, but intimate companionship. It serves as the foundation myth of marriage. Both chapters also lay the foundation for understanding human sexuality as something good and positive and so stand as a bulwark against the many alternative views then and now which see sex as dirty, as only for reproduction, or as my private fun at your expense. The Genesis stories set sex in the context of human beings relating to each other positively and more than that. They set it in the context of the way we are not just as individuals, or families, but also as human community. Good sex means good community. The sensation of pleasure, including sexual pleasure, belongs to our being human. Joy, fun, pleasure — these are God’s gifts in creation. We need to value and enjoy our sensations. They tell us we are alive. We need to hold onto this, when we sometimes see people responding to such sensations in ways that are damaging and destructive. In some ways enjoying sex is like enjoying food, another of God’s gifts. If I don’t connect my thinking to my sensations, I’ll easily over eat or over drink, with serious consequences for me and possibly for others. In the same way I need to keep my thinking engaged when I experience or contemplate the sensations of sex. It is easy to become disconnected and allow ourselves to be carried away with our feelings. There’s a time and place for getting carried away safely and a time and places when it is destructive. Most people quickly develop a sense of which is which, but centuries of experience and reflection have left us guidelines which the wise will engage well in advance. These include teachings already firmly rooted in the Bible itself, beginning with loving your neighbour as yourself, but much more. That excludes all forms of sexual abuse and exploitation, and helps us put sex back into the context of love and respect for others, the realm of intimacy and tenderness where it belongs. In times where we have learned to respect that people can be quite different in their sexual make-up and orientation, these ancient values remain. The key to life is to find our joy and fulfilment not to the disadvantage of others, but in a way that enriches and respects all. Rev Professor Bill Loader is a Uniting Church minister and professor at Murdoch University in Perth, Western Australia, where he is undertaking a five year Australian Research Council Professorial Fellowship on Attitudes towards Sexuality in Judaism and Christianity in the Hellenistic Greco-Roman Era. His recent publication is The New Testament — with Imagination: A Fresh Approach to its Writings and Themes (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 2007). He is perhaps most well known for his book Dear Kim, This is what I believe: Explaining Christian Faith Today. Unpack the issues...
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  written by Mark, July 23, 2008
I was wondering since advocates of sex before marriage state that the Church's demands are unrealistic in the modern day. It seems when they say this, they imply that in Ancient times people did not have the same desire for sex. The bible has stories of holy people having mutiple partners. I was also wondering since Abraham had sex with the slave-all problems since then have resulted-could we say that root of all problems is sex. Like money-it can used for good but causes grief. Like sex-used properly. However, look a TV programs like cheaters. I was interested to find out if all Divorces end in an affair at one stage. If 50% of marriages end, It would be intersting to find out.
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Sex doesn’t have to wait long before it comes into the spotlight in the Bible. It is there in the very first chapter: God made them male and female (Gen 1:27). It then goes immediately into action: Be fruitful and multiply! (Gen 1:28). 
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