|
Meera Atkinson  The general consensus is that life used to be simpler. When people moved out of home, married and started their own families, they didn’t fall too far from the family tree.
Chances were high they were within driving range of both families; that children would grow up knowing both sets of grandparents; and that a special event such as Christmas would be celebrated by the extended family. Times have changed, especially in an affluent, notoriously travel-mad nation like Australia. Careers, curiosity, a sense of adventure and relationships developed in our multi-cultural country, take people far and wide. Families are becoming more scattered geographically, not to mention changing from what we know as the “nuclear family”. For those who come from a family that has traditionally celebrated Christmas together, the fractures effected by modern life can present real challenges. Claire Fielding, 28, who lives in Brisbane with her partner, comes from such a family. Her parents have lived in Dublin for the last five and half years, having moved when her mother secured a position there; and her sister lives in London. For some time her brother was in Papua New Guinea but now he is in Townsville. Her partner’s parents are in Brisbane but he has three far-flung brothers on three different continents — one in Beijing, one in London, one in New York. “Christmas means enjoying life with your loved ones,” says Claire. “It means putting aside time and making an effort to sit down and have a meal together, to think about the perfect gift for each person and to think about why we celebrate Christmas in the first place.” However, it’s been widely recognised that many people find the absence of family at Christmas somewhat of a relief. Mickel Zwaaneveld, 24, is from the Netherlands but lives in Sydney. His sister is in London, his mother in the Netherlands and his father is “all over the place”. Mickel has lived in Australia for five years and doesn’t travel home to spend Christmas with his family. “We did do Christmas when I was growing up,” he says. “We used to go to church, to evening Mass. I moved out of home when I was 16 and ever since then I haven’t spent many Christmases with my family. The geographical issue is one part. Also because they’re divorced there is the problem that if you spend Christmas with one of them, the other one will be upset. It’s easier to avoid it and spend time with friends. I still send cards and call everyone and wish them a merry Christmas.” Being on the other side of the world, then, makes life easier for him at Christmas? “It’s a good excuse,” he says. Claire admits that even as part of a close-knit family there are pros to having a global family at Christmas. Chief among them is that she is spared the often-gruelling routine of shuffling between families and doing dutiful rounds. “If we’re having Christmas in Australia then it will be with my partner’s family. If we’re overseas it will be with the people we’re overseas with. A couple of years ago we went to New York to spend Christmas with his twin brother and that was pretty cool because it was just the four of us.” “You spend a lot of Christmas Day on the phone. It works out well though because they’re behind in time so you do your thing and then talk to them at night or on Boxing Day.” Claire says being a global family makes Christmas more special. “Having family all over the world means you don’t get to see them face to face very often and maybe you appreciate the time you have with them around Christmas more.” Although Christmas is clearly a time of familial reunion, the central focus of Christmas is not lost. “My parents and I go to church on Christmas day,” she says. “Sometimes my sister even makes it but we don’t pressure her because there is no point making her do something she doesn’t believe in. Saying that, I don’t think you need to go to a Church building to reflect on the season. Going to a church is more about community and getting together with people who have a similar belief and celebrating the story of Christmas.” In the years when she doesn’t see her family, Christmas inevitably heightens the awareness of their absence. “You definitely miss them more at Christmas,” she says. This year Claire and her partner are heading to Ireland for the third time, to join her sister, her parents, her partner’s brother and his wife and child, and his brother’s wife’s Korean parents. Her partner’s parents back in Brisbane will be visited by the brother from Beijing. Claire admits that for the global family the parting of ways after the big day can be emotional. “Every time I leave, my mum cries,” she says. “I think it’s a parent thing. It’s definitely sad but I think I’m used to it now.” I wonder if Claire envisions a day when her entire family will be together for Christmas. “I don’t think we will ever have a Christmas with everyone in the same place. I don’t think it’s possible,” she concludes.
Trackback(0)
 |
TrackBack URI for this entry
Subscribe to this comment's feed
Show/Hide comment form
